Nah, I'm good.

At least they didn't make him white.

Industry and multi-console news

New media: GRID trailer (a racing game from the makers of DiRT), Bionic Commando screenshots -- Thank God, the hot dog arm is gone.

• Ubisoft has purchased all the intellectual property rights for Tom Clancy's name for games, books, movies and merchandise. "The royalty savings generated by this acquisition are estimated to have an average positive impact on Ubisoft's operating income of a minimum of 5 million euros per year."
• Rock Band has reached six million songs downloaded. Harmonix also announced an update coming this week to add an in-game music store and fix some issues. You'll now be able to get the One Million Fans achievement on hard difficulty.
• Midway Games CEO David Zucker has left the company.
• Gamasutra has a Q&A with Yoshi Ono about bringing back Street Fighter.
• Activision has issued a response to Gibson's patent allegations. "Gibson waited three years to make its patent allegations, and only did so after it became clear that Activision was not interested in renewing its marketing and support agreement with Gibson."
• The newest Japanese sales charts show a slow week with DS Bimoji Training entering at number one.
• The Entertainment Software Association has established a $45,000 scholarship fund for women and minorities looking to get into game development.
• The ESRB has rated GTA4. Guess what they gave it.
• LucasArts claims that most games don't take advantage of next-gen hardware. "While a lot of games are pushing the limits of what can be done visually in games, we also wanted to push gameplay to levels that literally could not be done on the previous generation of hardware."
• Famitsu recently talked to Tecmo's Tomonobu Itagaki about how he got into the game industry (he went to work for Tecmo instead of Sega only because it was one train ride to get there) and his early successes and failures.
• SouthPeak Games has announced a sequel to Two Worlds called Two Worlds: The Temptation, coming to the 360 and PC this fall.
• Peter Molyneux has mentioned that he would "really would love to redo a version of Syndicate." Then again, Peter Molyneux mentions a lot things.
• 1up has collected several of their recent interviews with indie game developers all in one handy spot.
• GamePolitics has posted part 2 of their excerpts from the Bar trial against Jack Thompson.
• Speaking of which (although this is a separate issue from the Bar trial), the Florida Supreme Court has sanctioned Jack Thompson, meaning that he can no longer file anything with the court directly. If he wants to submit something, he has to do it through another lawyer.
• Game designer Adam Maxwell makes the Case Against Writers in the Game Industry. He believes hiring a designer who is "also an unsung writing hero" is better than hiring just a regular writer. Man, designers who think they can write is what gives us so much crap dialog in the first place.
• British MP Julian Brazier isn't happy with Manhunt 2 being cleared for release. "This shows once again that the BBFC and its appeals system do not meet the concerns of the public."
• If you're looking for some historical parallels to the current controversies over video games, you may be interested in The Ten-Cent Plague, a new book about the crack down on comic books in the 1950s.

PC and mobile news

New GameTap titles: Conflict: Denied Ops, Fire Flower, Fleet Command
New content: Lost Empire: Immortals 1.0.3 beta patch

• JoWood has announced a second add-on for The Guild 2.
• Strangely enough, you can get indie games at Target. Stranger is that they're attached to shirts.
• Did you know there's a company that does nothing but translate Japanese hentai dating games into English? Should I be telling you this?

Nintendo news

• KBC Securities in Japan has downgraded Nintendo stock from "buy" to "hold" over worries that demand for the Wii and DS may have peaked.
• Final Fantasy Tactics A2 has been given a June 24 release date in North America.
• Ubisoft has announced Imagine Rock Star for the DS.
• SouthPeak Games has announced "fireworks-themed shooter" Big Bang Mini for the DS.
• On Ebay, there's an auction for 39 Famicom Power Gloves mint in box.
• Amazon's deal of the day is The Bigs for $25.00. They also have Battalion Wars 2 for $28.62.

Sony news

New game: Hot Shots Golf: Open Tee
New demos: Condemned 2: Bloodshot, Sega Superstars Tennis, Flat Out: Head On
New content: Rock Band tracks, Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 08 courses, Orange Box 128 meg patch -- nobody knows what it does yet

• The Playstation blog has a preview of PS3 firmware v2.20, which will add support for Blu-ray Disc Profile 2.0, also known as BD-Live.
• They've also got the first look at Resistance 2's multiplayer classes.
• Square Enix will be hosting a Crisis Core - Final Fantasy VII launch party at the Sony Metreon Center on March 25.
• Pandemonium and Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain have been rated by the ESRB for the Playstation Network.

Microsoft news

New content: Forza 2 cars

• The Longest Journey sequel Dreamfall will join the Xbox Originals line-up on March 24.
• The Ace Combat 6 website has a test to see if you can tell which pictures are real and which are from the game.
• Rare has set up a Banjo Kazooie 3 website that currently has nothing on it.
• Inside MGC has the achievements for Ikaruga.
• The Badges of Honour program has returned to Blockbuster stores in Canada. A $2 donation to the Children's Miracle Network gets you one of five limited-edition pins.
• The Behemoth has announced that there will be 22 unlockable characters in Castle Crashers.
• Amazon has the Rock Band stand-alone drum kit on sale for $68.99.